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November 29, 2005

Reflections from Pamela

Trinity Parish has been an extension of my home and family for five years now, and the experiences I have had here, the ways I have grown and changed, will stay with me always. I have received many wonderful gifts in my time with you, but there is one gift that stands out above all: you have given me the gift of compassionate presence. You have stood by while I learned on the job, made mistakes, changed my mind, reached the end of my rope, and started all over again. You have entrusted your children to my care—a precious trust that continues to humble and inspire me—and what wonderful children they are! You have allowed me the space and the freedom to “practice imperfection,” perhaps the most challenging and necessary spiritual discipline of all for a former academic and recovering perfectionist.

As a community, you seemed to recognize that there is no way to get this job right all of the time; your helpful feedback and support encouraged me just to keep focused on the process and to leave the outcome to God.

Advent seems a strange and difficult time to be saying goodbye. Christmas looms closer every day and my instinct is to hunker down, to nest, almost to hibernate. I am naturally a homebody, not a person who easily sets off on adventures—especially not at this time of year, when I most yearn for the comfort to be found in the routine and familiar. However, neither our scripture nor any authentic religious tradition promises that life will be without challenges.

The Old Testament is full of stories and poetry depicting people in exile, people on the move, people whose circumstances have forced them to realize that the only true refuge to be found is trust in the Lord. Psalm 91 reminds us that the person “who dwells in the shelter of the Most High, who abides in the shadow of the Almighty, will say to the Lord: ‘My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.’” God in turn will respond: “When you call to me, I will answer; I will be with you in trouble, I will rescue and honor you. With long life I will satisfy you, and show you my salvation.”

John, Annabel, Kathleen and I know we are extremely fortunate to be moving to a lovely part of the country, where we will be surrounded by a large and loving extended family. We will never forget our time here and hope that from time to time we will find a familiar face from California on the doorstep!

Maybe Advent is exactly the right time to say goodbye. It is the beginning of the church year—the perfect moment to make a new start. In every end there is a beginning; as T.S. Eliot puts it:

“At the end of all our exploring
Will be to arrive where we started

And know the place for the first time…”

All God’s blessings, Pamela