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February 06, 2008

Beth Foote - Ash Wednesday 2008

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust…

Last Saturday my family and I went to the burial service for Irene Totah, a dedicated Christian who lived to be 92 years old. Irene was one of those people who seemed timeless, eternally about 65. She had olive skin, beautiful white hair, and she looked radiant in bright colors. Irene was a greeter when Hale and I walked into Christ Church 16 years ago with two toddlers, and she was inspirational…She was one of the first women to serve on the vestry in the 1970’s, and she volunteered 25 hours a week until she was 90 years old, including thirty years of service on the altar guide. Over the years, Life dealt Irene several serious blows: she was widowed in her fifties, and her daughter predeceased her. Through it all, Irene remained a person of faith. The parish went through challenging times in the 1990’s, but she did not leave, or become bitter. Instead, she exuded wisdom and patience in the midst of controversy.

On Saturday afternoon, I saw her ashes beautifully displayed on the table in front of the altar, by the Pascal candle, and I was moved. Once again, I experienced the finality of death. Ashes. Irene is not here. Just ashes with her name on them.

It was a jolt. Irene was 92, her life had been full and complete, and yet the jolt of reality was still there. Irene, as we knew her, was gone. But it was a good jolt. To mourn someone and realize and how much we loved her. It wasn’t a bad jolt, but a “reality check” in the best sense of the word; she was truly one of the community of saints.

And I think Ash Wednesday can be that kind of positive jolt, a good reality check. In a way, it’s a mini-preview of our own burial, that we ourselves get to attend. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. It makes us think of our beginnings and our endings. Ash Wednesday invites us to think about our mortality.

Beatrice Buttreau writes in her book, Easter Mysteries:

“We human beings are made of dust---star dust—as is everything else in this universe. The cells of our bodies…are composed of molecules made of atoms whose complex nuclei were fused together in the fiery hearts of exploding stars…we are a traffic of molecules, constantly coming and going, building up and forms coming part…Living is the name for this traffic, this constant motion, this coming and going, this building and destroying, this birthing and dying. The human body is always being built up from the dust and is always reverting to dust. The situation is not so simple as being born once and dying once. Coming to be and passing away are going on all the time…”

I think it is important to hold these two ideas together: ashes to ashes, mortal start and mortal finish, along with this dynamic, amazing, ever changing process that is called living. As Christians, God calls us to channel the process of living so that we become more like Christ. To do this, we occasionally need to do some spring cleaning, clear some space, roll up the rugs so that we have more room to dance with God.

This is what I think Lent is all about, a time to look at ourselves at this specific point in time and ask, “where are we in terms of our relationship with God?” Given that we are constantly changing, what direction is that change moving in? What fine tuning do we need to do so that we can better hear the voice of God who calls us and beckons us?

That is the point of the traditional Lenten disciplines, to draw us closer to God in the midst of our busy lives. “Giving up” something like a certain food, or fasting on certain days, has been seen as a way to become closer to God. And let’s admit it, we all have daily habits that are all about satisfying the self. Our culture encourages us to satisfy our every personal craving. Perhaps Lent is a time to examine those daily habits and see if they’re helping you in your relationship with God. But as Jesus says in our gospel reading, do not use disciplines like fasting as a way to boast or call attention to ourselves as pious people. Jesus wants us to use such changes as a way to become closer to Him. When we change our usual patterns, we gain clarity. I’ve always been a night owl, and I’m know for being barely civil in the morning, yet over the last year or so I’ve learned to appreciate getting up early on Sunday mornings to drive to Trinity. I see the sunrise over Hayward…I know it doesn’t sound very glamorous, but there is no traffic; it feels like anything is possible. Making a small change in our habits is one way of saying, “I’m open to new things, God.”

As human beings, we often wish to freeze life the way we think it ought to be. I know I do. I resist letting go and letting God into my life. But how exciting it is when I do take the risk of saying, “thy will be done.” What would happen if we let the Holy Spirit into our lives a bit more this Lent? What if we said, “Your will be done, God” more often?

Here are a couple of little suggestions for Lenten practices. They’re basic, everyday kind of things. Throughout the day pay attention to your thoughts. When life starts to get you down or you experience frustration or anxiety, notice it. Then lift whatever it is to God. Just a simple, “You take it, God,” will do.

Take time daily for prayer. Be quiet, and talk to Jesus like a friend. Then listen and pay attention throughout the day. There will be dialogue in unexpected ways.

Challenge yourself to read one of the Gospels from start to finish in a couple of sittings. Each one is only about 50 pages. It’s an amazing experience. You are a different person each time you encounter the Gospel. You will gain a new perspective this Holy Week and Easter when you’ve read the whole sweep of the Gospel message. And that’s what Lent is all about, moving us to a new perspective by the time the Holy Mystery of Easter comes on March 23.

So much of life, even the spiritual life, involves simply showing up. God is everywhere, but there’s a reason we have a church, to draw us together as a community around Christ. As Christians, we are living beings always in conversation with other living beings with a shared purpose. Perhaps a Lenten discipline means being here every Sunday in Lent. Make a commitment to come to a Lenten program. Explore spiritual practices for everyday people with Father Mike. Come on Wednesday nights for the Beatitudes. Come learn about the Millennium Development Goals and how God calls us to share our treasure and minister to the poor. We are so fortunate to have our own, beautiful labyrinth; come walk it on a guided walk or on your own.

At baptism, the priest makes the sign of the cross on your forehead with the blessed oil and says, “you are marked as Christ’s own forever.” Today we anoint with the ashes of the palms, and say, “to ashes you will return.”

The smudge of ashes etches over that original anointing with oil and makes it visible once again for us. It is a promise and a challenge of love. In our gospel today, Jesus says, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust consume and where thieves break in and steal; but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust consumer and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” This Lent take that dusty raw material of your life and offer it up to God. Together, we as individuals and as a parish can grow in a Godly direction.
May you have a Holy Lent and be transformed by the power of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

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